Where Are the Nine? A Thanksgiving Sermon
Marvin D. Patterson
Luke 17:11-19
Introduction:
TAMING A CUSSING PARROT!
Martha had a parrot called Brutus, the only problem was that Brutus cussed something awful. Now Martha was having her in-laws over for Thanksgiving, and so she needed to train Brutus quickly not to swear.
Just before her Mother-in-law was due Brutus cussed terribly, so Martha but him in the freezer for 2 minutes to literally cool off. Then she opened the door and took out the parrot along with the turkey.
'And have you learned your lesson about cussing?' Martha asked the parrot.
Brutus the parrot took one look at the dead turkey and said: 'I sure have. But I have one I have a question, ''What did the turkey do?'' '
A man in Chicago calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, ''I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
''Pop, what are you talking about?'' the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,'' the father says. ''We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Dallas and tell her.''
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. ''Like heck they're getting divorced,'' she shouts, ''I'll take care of this,''
She calls Chicago immediately, and screams at her father, ''You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?'' and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. ''Okay,'' he says, ''they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.''
This Thursday we will celebrate our 400th year of Thanksgiving unto God. We have been blessed above all nations in the world. He has given us the best water to drink, and the finest food to eat. We have nice homes, cars, jobs, and medical care. There are ...
Marvin D. Patterson
Luke 17:11-19
Introduction:
TAMING A CUSSING PARROT!
Martha had a parrot called Brutus, the only problem was that Brutus cussed something awful. Now Martha was having her in-laws over for Thanksgiving, and so she needed to train Brutus quickly not to swear.
Just before her Mother-in-law was due Brutus cussed terribly, so Martha but him in the freezer for 2 minutes to literally cool off. Then she opened the door and took out the parrot along with the turkey.
'And have you learned your lesson about cussing?' Martha asked the parrot.
Brutus the parrot took one look at the dead turkey and said: 'I sure have. But I have one I have a question, ''What did the turkey do?'' '
A man in Chicago calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, ''I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
''Pop, what are you talking about?'' the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,'' the father says. ''We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Dallas and tell her.''
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. ''Like heck they're getting divorced,'' she shouts, ''I'll take care of this,''
She calls Chicago immediately, and screams at her father, ''You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?'' and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. ''Okay,'' he says, ''they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.''
This Thursday we will celebrate our 400th year of Thanksgiving unto God. We have been blessed above all nations in the world. He has given us the best water to drink, and the finest food to eat. We have nice homes, cars, jobs, and medical care. There are ...
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