A Taste of Freedom
Taste of Christianity
Ron Clarkson
Illus: When Ann and I were on our honeymoon in Hawaii, she thought it would be fun and exciting to go para-sailing. I laughed and waited for her to get serious, but I found out all too soon that she was serious. I said, wait a second, there was nothing in the prenuptuals about me having to do this. But she made the reservations anyway, so we proceeded. We arrived on the pontoon and I looked up into the sky and I saw this tiny dot underneath the parachute. The parachute was connected to a three hundred foot rope tied to the back of a power boat. And in my masculinity, I sat there and watched these people being hoisted of the pontoon, up into the air with a football fields distance between them and the water below. I was sweating bullets. I prayed that the lord would come within the next 5 minutes because it was our turn next. God disappointed me and didn't show up, so being the gentleman that I am, I let Ann go first.
I sat there and watched my brand new bride being whisked away. She came in for a landing with a huge smile on her face and yelled, ''it's great!'' as I was being whisked away to what I was sure was my impending death. I was petrified, I was praying, making all kinds of deals with God. I closed my eyes that didn't help, I opened them, that didn't help. I tried to relax but all I could do was think about - what if the boat fails, what if the rope breaks and I end up in Guam, what if I my harness breaks and I plummet to my death. I can see my name in the headlines ''Pastor wed three days now with his maker. I can see it now, they make a movie of my life ''Chicken of the Sea.'' My wife thoroughly enjoyed her ride para-sailing. I also think she thoroughly enjoyed watching my manhood being annihilated. I thoroughly hated the ride. She was exhilarated by the adventure, I was deflated. She was turned on by the ride, I was turned off. She said, ''let's do it again.'' I said, ''Find another husba ...
Taste of Christianity
Ron Clarkson
Illus: When Ann and I were on our honeymoon in Hawaii, she thought it would be fun and exciting to go para-sailing. I laughed and waited for her to get serious, but I found out all too soon that she was serious. I said, wait a second, there was nothing in the prenuptuals about me having to do this. But she made the reservations anyway, so we proceeded. We arrived on the pontoon and I looked up into the sky and I saw this tiny dot underneath the parachute. The parachute was connected to a three hundred foot rope tied to the back of a power boat. And in my masculinity, I sat there and watched these people being hoisted of the pontoon, up into the air with a football fields distance between them and the water below. I was sweating bullets. I prayed that the lord would come within the next 5 minutes because it was our turn next. God disappointed me and didn't show up, so being the gentleman that I am, I let Ann go first.
I sat there and watched my brand new bride being whisked away. She came in for a landing with a huge smile on her face and yelled, ''it's great!'' as I was being whisked away to what I was sure was my impending death. I was petrified, I was praying, making all kinds of deals with God. I closed my eyes that didn't help, I opened them, that didn't help. I tried to relax but all I could do was think about - what if the boat fails, what if the rope breaks and I end up in Guam, what if I my harness breaks and I plummet to my death. I can see my name in the headlines ''Pastor wed three days now with his maker. I can see it now, they make a movie of my life ''Chicken of the Sea.'' My wife thoroughly enjoyed her ride para-sailing. I also think she thoroughly enjoyed watching my manhood being annihilated. I thoroughly hated the ride. She was exhilarated by the adventure, I was deflated. She was turned on by the ride, I was turned off. She said, ''let's do it again.'' I said, ''Find another husba ...
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