WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FOR CHRISTMAS?
NELSON PRICE
LUKE 2: 15-17
12/20/98
JESUS CHRIST'S birth caught the world by surprise. It wasn't what
was expected.
Christmas is full of surprises. It always has been.
Have you ever gotten what you expected for Christmas? Have you
always gotten what you wanted? Have you always gotten what you
needed?
Have you ever gotten a gift you didn't want and couldn't use? I
remember in the fifth grade our school had a Christmas party. Can
you imagine a Christmas party in public school? What a PC
incorrect system! Everyone drew names and brought anonymous
gifts for the ones whose names were drawn. Tisha Bell drew my
name. She obviously had little understanding about male puberty.
She brought me, an eleven year old, a green plastic safety blade
razor. Just what every eleven-year-old fifth grade boy needs.
Indignity of indignities all the girls snickered when I opened it.
Meltdown! That Christmas was off to a bad start. I assured
everyone it was just what I wanted in that I would be shaving soon.
As a matter of fact I tried later that afternoon. It didn't work out too
well. I nicked myself so badly I thought I was going to have to put a
tourniquet around my throat to stop the bleeding.
There are certain gifts you just don't want under your tree. Consider
these:
A RONCO SPAM-O-MATIC,
A CHIA GODZILLA
999 DISCO HITS OF THE 70's PERFORMED BY THE MORMON
TABERNACLE CHOIR
A LIFE-TIME SUPPLY OF CORN PADS
24 POLKA INTERPRETATIONS OF "STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN"
BY IGMAR AND HIS MYSTIC ACCORDION
One little guy bugged his parents for a watch. Finally the dad could
stand it no more. Sternly he said, "If you mention that watch one
more time you will not get one."
Later that night at bedtime it was the child's time to pray. He asked,
"Before I pray can I read a Scripture?" What parent would say no to
that?
The child read Mark 13: 32, 33, "But of that day and hour no man ...
NELSON PRICE
LUKE 2: 15-17
12/20/98
JESUS CHRIST'S birth caught the world by surprise. It wasn't what
was expected.
Christmas is full of surprises. It always has been.
Have you ever gotten what you expected for Christmas? Have you
always gotten what you wanted? Have you always gotten what you
needed?
Have you ever gotten a gift you didn't want and couldn't use? I
remember in the fifth grade our school had a Christmas party. Can
you imagine a Christmas party in public school? What a PC
incorrect system! Everyone drew names and brought anonymous
gifts for the ones whose names were drawn. Tisha Bell drew my
name. She obviously had little understanding about male puberty.
She brought me, an eleven year old, a green plastic safety blade
razor. Just what every eleven-year-old fifth grade boy needs.
Indignity of indignities all the girls snickered when I opened it.
Meltdown! That Christmas was off to a bad start. I assured
everyone it was just what I wanted in that I would be shaving soon.
As a matter of fact I tried later that afternoon. It didn't work out too
well. I nicked myself so badly I thought I was going to have to put a
tourniquet around my throat to stop the bleeding.
There are certain gifts you just don't want under your tree. Consider
these:
A RONCO SPAM-O-MATIC,
A CHIA GODZILLA
999 DISCO HITS OF THE 70's PERFORMED BY THE MORMON
TABERNACLE CHOIR
A LIFE-TIME SUPPLY OF CORN PADS
24 POLKA INTERPRETATIONS OF "STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN"
BY IGMAR AND HIS MYSTIC ACCORDION
One little guy bugged his parents for a watch. Finally the dad could
stand it no more. Sternly he said, "If you mention that watch one
more time you will not get one."
Later that night at bedtime it was the child's time to pray. He asked,
"Before I pray can I read a Scripture?" What parent would say no to
that?
The child read Mark 13: 32, 33, "But of that day and hour no man ...
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