We'll Never Get Back!

A ship wrecked off the New England coast many years ago. A young member of the coast guard rescue crew said, "We can't go out. We'll never get back." The grizzled old captain replied, "We have to go out. We don't have to come back."

You can live on bland food so as to avoid an ulcer; drink no tea or coffee or other stimulants, in the name of health; go to bed early and stay away from night life; avoid all controversial subjects so as never to give offense; mind your own business and avoid involvement in other people's problems; spend money only on necessities and save all you can. You can still break your neck in the bathtub, and it will serve you right.