Types A and Z
Reader's Digest, October, 1982
There are only two types of people in the world, Type A and Type Z. It isn't hard to tell which type you are.
1. How long before the plane leaves do you arrive at the airport? Early plane-catchers, Type A, pack their bags a day in advance, and pack neatly. If they're booked on a flight that leaves at four in the afternoon, they get up at five-thirty that morning. If they haven't left the house by noon, they're worried about missing the plane. Late plane-catchers, Type Z, pack hastily at the last minute and arrive at the airport too late to buy a newspaper.
2. Type A eats a good breakfast; Type Z grabs a cup of coffee.
3. Type A turns off the lights when leaving a room and lock the doors when leaving a house. They go back to make sure they've locked it, and they worry later about it whether they left the iron on or not. They didn't. Type Z leaves the lights burning and, if they lock the door at all when they leave the house, they're apt to have forgotten their keys.
4. Type A sees the dentist twice a year, has an annual physical checkup and thinks he may have something. Type Z has been meaning to see a doctor.
5. Type A squeezes a tube of toothpaste from the bottom and rolls it very carefully as he uses it, puts the top back on every time. Type Z squeezes the tube from the middle, and he's lost the cap under the radiator.
6. Type Z's are more apt to have some Type A characteristics than Type A's are to have any Type Z characteristics.
7. Type A's always marry Type Z's. Type Z's always marry Type A's.
