Pastoral burnout, moral failure, and resignations are at an all-time high. Why aren’t these pastors overflowing with the love, joy, and peace of the Lord in their lives, families, and ministries? What are the causes of their emotional problems and moral failures? A major factor is overwhelming ministry stress and a lack of work-life balance:
- 75% of pastors report being “extremely stressed” or “highly stressed”
- 90% work between 55 to 75 hours per week
- 90% feel fatigued and worn out every week
- 70% say they’re grossly underpaid
- 40% report a serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month
- 78% were forced to resign from their church (63% at least twice), most commonly because of church conflict
- 80% will not be in ministry ten years later and only a fraction make it a lifelong career. On average, seminary-trained pastors last only five years in church ministry
- 100% of 1,050 Reformed and Evangelical pastors had a colleague who had left the ministry because of burnout, church conflict, or moral failure
- 91% have experienced some form of burnout in ministry and 18% say they are “fried to a crisp right now”
It’s particularly disturbing to see how much pastors are struggling with emotional pain, family problems, loving well, and moral failures:
- 70% of pastors say they have lower self-esteem now than when they entered ministry
- 70% constantly fight depression
- 50% feel so discouraged that they would leave their ministry if they could, but can’t find another job
- 80% believe their pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families and 33% said it was an outright hazard
- 80% of ministry spouses feel left out and unappreciated in their church
- 77% feel they do not have a good marriage
- 41% display anger problems in marriage (reported by the spouse)
- 38% are divorced or divorcing
- 50% admit to using pornography and 37% report inappropriate sexual behavior with someone in the church
- 65% feel their family is in a glass house
- (Read more here)
These stats paint a picture of an epidemic among pastors right now. Is pastoral ministry just that tough? Is it possible for a pastor to enjoy their pastorate? The answer is yes. There are a lot of factors that play into these stats though. The type of church, board structure, pastor’s gifts/strengths, and match of pastor to church can play a part. The pastor’s personal mental health, past trauma, and ability to handle stress are also factors to consider.
Congregations will never understand their pastor’s weight of responsibility. A pastor has to take personal responsibility for their soul. So, the pastor must set up a soul care system for themselves. A pastor must protect themselves and their hearts. They can do this by creating a work-life balance. With ministry, a leader gives all they have and there will always be more to do. Here are 12 ways to create a work-life balance:
1. Communicate the Plan to the Church
The pastor should communicate clearly to the congregation what a healthy pastor looks like and how they plan to pursue that goal. The greatest gift a pastor can give their church is being healthy. The pastor has to communicate in a loving way that their priority is their spiritual walk, their emotional health, physical health, marriage, and family. Do this in love, not bitterness or anger.
2. Practice Sabbath
Sabbath is a lost, sacred practice. God created Sabbath for mankind. It’s a day to rest, pursue recreation, spend time with the Lord, and unplug. It has been said this way before, “If you don’t work, then God says you are lazy. However, if you don’t rest, then you are considered disobedient.” Rest from our work shows we trust God instead of our productivity. Sabbath helps pastors to rejuvenate. Every pastor needs to intentionally unplug. The pastor will choose to “come apart a while and rest,” or they will just “come apart.”
3. Set Clear Boundaries
The pastor should never complain about what they permit. The church has to know the boundaries. With technology, there are many ways to accomplish this, such as Google phone numbers, setting the phone on do not disturb, and an email signature with times they can respond. The congregants who get mad at boundaries are those who don’t have respect for those who set the boundaries.
4. See a Counselor
Counselors aren’t just for those who are in trouble. Counselors can help a pastor vent their anger, see perspective and get solutions. As a pastor, I have had counseling before, and I am very open to my congregation about this. Many of them have started seeing a counselor. The pastor is often the general counselor through sermons but also, they counsel others personally. The counselor needs a counselor to stay healthy and maintain work-life balance.
5. Make a Priority Covenant
The pastor should make a priority covenant for their family and church. They simply make a “10 Commandments/Promises” to give the church and family. This holds them accountable and gives them a target to shoot for in work-life balance.”
6. Give Staff Free Time-Off after Big Event Days
This is for the pastor and staff. For instance, after Easter, the pastor should take the week off and give staff some time too. There are churches that do this after Christmas and Easter each year. After high days of engaging ministry, the pastor should take time to have “low days” of rest.
7. Have a Hobby
Every pastor needs a hobby they do for fun that is only for them. Mountain biking, golf, strength training, fishing, art, cooking, traveling, or music can be some fun activities to help the pastor disengage from thinking about ministry. Their children or family may have hobbies that are separate, but the pastor needs one just for themselves.
8. Get Regular Feedback from your Spouse
The spouse of a pastor will share honestly how they feel about life and ministry. The pastor should be checking in regularly with their spouse. A lot of times, they are so driven that they can’t see the toll the pace of ministry is taking on their family or even themselves until it’s too late.
9. Be Intentional with Emotional Health
It is important that a pastor listens to podcasts, reads books and talks to others about their emotional health. Ministry can be a rush of dopamine by going from one engagement to the next with the motivation of growth or progress. It’s easy not to pay attention to the soul as pastors care for other people’s souls. Having one day a week to focus on emotional health will keep the leader aligned.
10. Take the Full Vacation (Uninterrupted)
Brady Boyd, the pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO, said this to a group of pastors in 2021, “It is for the sake of my responsibilities that I rest. I’m not forsaking my responsibilities when I rest.” A good rule of thumb is to have only one person from the church that can contact the pastor when on vacation. Everything can filter through that person. In a perfect world in order to have that work-life balance, the pastor needs the whole vacation uninterrupted with backup plans for the church in the case of a death or hospital visit.
11. Make a System for On-Call Needs
There should be a system for how much on-call the pastor or staff have to engage in when dealing with care ministry. Again, communication is the key to making this happen. Pastors must work with their leaders and then filter the information to the congregation on how this will take place. The “why” is also very important too. If the leaders and congregation know that it’s so the pastor will be healthy and have a better tenure with the church; they may be more open to this.
12. Negotiate Extra Time Off with Tenure
The pastor should negotiate more time off the longer they are at a church. This can be a paid sabbatical every 5th year or even an extra week of vacation every 3-5 years. Pastors don’t unusually stay long term, so this can be an incentive and a guard rail that is built-in for them to stay healthier the longer they are there.
Burnout and exhaustion don’t have to be your story. If you’re struggling, try one or some of these 12 ways to create a work-life balance and see how it shifts the trajectory of your life. You can lead and serve your church well while also leading and serving yourself well. It is my prayer that you find this balance in your life so that you do not become another negative statistic. You are called for such a time as this!
